Regenerating Your Network - 3 Must-haves
While I love winters in New York (I actually find the summers more unbearable), one of the great things about escaping to South Florida that time of the year is the stone crab season.
As a quick bit of background, in case you aren’t familiar, Florida stone crabs are prized for their meaty claws, which are quite tasty with mustard sauce or drawn butter (apologies to you vegetarians out there!). But don’t worry, their limbs detach easily by nature in order to allow them to escape from predators and tight spaces, only one claw is taken at a time which has to be a minimum, regulated size, and the crabs are released back into the water where they grow a replacement claw in about 12-18 months. Furthermore, in order to ensure the continued survival of the species, they can be harvested only between October 15 and May 15. Okay, now that the disclaimer is out of the way, let’s move on…
That the stone crab has the innate ability to regenerate its limbs so easily is a wonderful metaphor for how all of us need to grow our abilities to regenerate our network on an ongoing basis.
The reality of life is that people move away, they change direction or focus, they get new priorities. They leave our network, so we have to be sure we’re continually adding new contacts. Or we ourselves might relocate, change direction, focus or priorities, and have to build new networks to sustain us and allow us to reach new goals.
While I teach many different techniques for smarter networking, when you strip down to the core, our ability to regenerate our networks successfully comes down to three key skills:
1) Being Present. There are some folks who just never put themselves out there. I used to be one of them, which is why I can relate so well to people who are new to networking, don’t like it, or don’t feel they’re good at it. But to keep your network alive, you have to show up at events and put yourself in situations to meet new people. If you like to use online means to network, then you don’t even have to be present to be present. However, you still have to be active by posting often and responding to posts. Virtual networking doesn’t mean passive networking.
But being present also has another meaning. It’s about giving your full attention to what’s going on in the moment. If you’re at an event, don’t be texting on your Treo, and if you’re at a one-on-one follow up meeting, be engaged in the conversation.
2) Giving. To me, giving is as much a mindset as it is an action. Is your focus on others or on yourself? When you talk to people, is your tendency to ask questions, learn about them and listen for ways to help? Or is your top priority getting your story heard? Are you generous with giving referrals and connecting two people you feel could help each other? Or do you not even bother?
The thing about giving that few people realize is that when you give, you put yourself front and center of the minds of the people you’re helping. So you’re actually gaining something as you’re giving.
3) Asking. To get what you want, you have to be clear about what you want and be able to ask for it. One way is through your elevator pitch by having a clear message about who and what you are looking for. Another way is to ask for help directly from someone in your network. But you have to ask appropriately. The size of the ask should be in proportion to how well you know them. And because you never know how busy people are, never put any pressure, gratefully take whatever help you get, and always say thank you.
Just as stone crabs let go of their limbs easily, knowing that another one will grow back in its place, by embracing these three key skills at the core of your networking, you’ll never have to worry about change. You’ll always have the awareness and the confidence to be able to regenerate your network anytime, anywhere.
© 2003-2007 Liz Lynch
Liz Lynch is a business networking expert whose products, programs and seminars help entrepreneurs and business professionals get clients, build their business, and reach their goals through networking. If you’re ready to start networking smarter, get your free networking tips now at http://www.NetworkingExcellence.com
Tags: business networking
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Monday, May 5th, 2008 at 1:33 pm under
